tattooofhername

I need a way to explain to my crotch in plain English that sweaty hairy man chests are gross. It usually goes like this:

Crotch: Hugh Jackman getting all sweaty? VROOOOOOM VROOOOOM BABY!

Brain: EWWW! Can you imagine how that feels though? All that damp coarse hair? Nasty

Crotch: I KNOW! VROOOOOOM!

Brain: And the smell. Don't forget the smell. Those hairs will trap all of it

Crotch: That's it baby. Keep talking. All you're doing is convincing me

Brain: WRAGH! Shut up!

Me: Attempt to smother crotch with pillow.

Attempt: Fails


Effectively, Hugh Jackman turns my crotch on like woah, and makes my brain run a mile, screaming. This is disturbing, to say the least.